Fragile Power

China has experienced remarkable economic development in recent years, earning it the title of a "powerful nation." However, as mentioned in yesterday's article, we have not seen significant progress in the moral character of our people. Instead, we are witnessing more social problems, distrust among people, and a loss of values. What exactly is happening?

Today I'd like to introduce a book called "The Power of Vulnerability," by Brienne Brown, an American social researcher. Through interviews and listening to many people's stories, she concluded that the fundamental human need is for love and belonging. We need connection from birth; without these two things, no matter how much material wealth a person possesses, their soul will never be satisfied.

She points out that the interviewees can be roughly divided into "people with a sense of personal value" and "people struggling with feeling inadequate." The difference between them is that the group with a sense of personal value believes they deserve love and belonging. Brienne Brown mentions that modern people mistakenly believe that to have love and belonging, they need to be perfect, but her research found that those who truly enjoy love and belonging are those who dare to face their vulnerability. They don't avoid their negative emotions by wearing a mask or display their superiority by blaming others. Brown points out that when we numb negative feelings such as fear, anger, and sadness, we simultaneously numb all emotions, including joy, gratitude, and happiness. Ultimately, our perception of everything diminishes, and we lose our vitality.

Brown points out that the reason we fear vulnerability is shame; we fear that if others truly see and understand our reality, it will damage connections. Therefore, we need to hide, lacking the resilience to confront shame. The antidote to shame is empathy. In today's society, the entire culture glorifies quick results and superficial achievements. Empathy requires us to truly feel others' pain. When we hear about someone's experience, we shouldn't try to persuade them to solve the problem or change them from our own perspective. Instead, because we have experienced the same vulnerability and know how it feels, we can genuinely express understanding and acceptance. Brown points out that true connection and belonging will only occur when our children, family, and friends feel this safe and open-heartedness. If our education can help children face vulnerability and failure, they will gain the courage to take risks and live wholeheartedly.

In his book, Brown quotes Roosevelt's "The Fighter in the Arena" speech to illustrate the true meaning of courage: "Glory does not belong to the critics, nor to those who point fingers at fallen heroes or nitpick about how others could have done better. Glory belongs to the hero who stands in the arena, to the one who fights bravely with his face stained with dust and sweat. He may make mistakes, even repeating them, for mistakes and shortcomings are inevitable. But he knows to fight relentlessly, with passion and all his might, to dedicate himself to a noble cause. He knows that the best outcome is success, and even if he fails, at least he dared to try." I have also learned that those who love me, those I truly rely on, are never those who criticize me when I am in trouble. The people who love me aren't in the stands, but standing with me in the arena, fighting for me and fighting alongside me.

If you are interested in listening to Brown's speech with Chinese subtitles, you can visit the following website: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J61bTBuB9V8